Facts, figures, established traditions, lessons learned, and other assorted thoughts on life (in no particular order) ...

To be clear, this deployment, from deployment standards, has been pretty easy when compared to the locations and lengths of time some of my counterparts are finding themselves in. So any complaining I might do needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Lets get started ...

1. Nickelback is the official Crew 4 band (I hate Nickelback).
2. Crazy Bitch by Buck Cherry, is the official Crew 4 song.
3. Tradition: Crew 4 Dinner at random restaurant every Sunday night.
4. I officially became a "Captain Select", 1 out of 4032 selected of a possible 4060 ... it was a close one.
5. Tradition: Burger King (or Subway or any other food establishment that is not the Andersen Chow Hall) for the first meal of the weekend ... and sometimes the second and third too.
6. Always have some sort of back up for any important information you may be carrying cause you never know when your computer might die on you.
7. I gained my freshman 15 while on Guam. Wasn't sure it was possible but I stand corrected.
8. The separation helps you to see what is really important in this life.
9. There is nothing more important in this world than keeping those you love (family, friends, dogs) as close to you as possible for as long as possible.
10. I don't know what causes the attraction between two people and I am not sure that I understand what it means to need another human being but, no matter where or how far it needs to travel, that need will find you. And most of the time it will catch you with your pants down, a tissue hanging out of your nose, making some sort of ridiculous face and you will spend the next 5 to 6 months just trying to get over the embarrassment of that one moment.
11. In the whole of the Air Force, there are no better bunch of dudes to possibly head to war with than those in the 23rd EBS. BUT, hopefully that will never happen.
12. I am far too dependent upon my computer.
13. Finally finding the strength to walk away and retain as much of your dignity as possible is always worth it.
14. I own too many green t-shirts.
15. I love fruit punch BUT not Chammorro fruit punch (its terrible).
16. Tradition: Stop at a stop sign. Before rolling forward say "One for Bluto" then continue on. Unless of course you are at the actual stop sign, then you would say "One for Bluto, Two for Bluto" and continue on. Refer all questions to Bluto.
17. Eggs and bacon for breakfast is where it is at.
18. Eggs and bacon every morning will put your cholesterol through the roof.
19. I love Hash Running.
20. There is a certain amount of joy that comes from being able to leave work, climb into your own truck, drive to your own home and sit there alone in silence.
21. Its never too late to turn things around. Read into that as much as you want.
22. Scrubs, the TV show, can save your sanity in a less than desirable situation.
23. The Nissan Quest is by far the shittiest and most illogically designed minivan in existence.
24. No Thai food prior to a flight.
25. Crew 4 Mascot is the "Good Health" mascot of Crew 4, not the good luck mascot.
26. Tradition: Must scroll through channels 74, 75, and 76 (the squiggly porn channels ... they are never unsquiggly) before we ever watch a movie. After 5 months, still not really sure why.
27. Tradition: To call something we never do but sounds cool a tradition.
28. How many hits to the pavement does it take to get to the center of a coconut? 5 to 6 ... its Science.
29. "Any press is good press" per Salty referring to my drunken fascination with the General. This does not mean to apply and kind of direct pressure to the General.
30. At the 5 dollar barbecue stand, you can get as much pansit as you want and 2 giant things of rat on a stick (actually chicken). Its awesome and we went often.
31. The Boonie Dog situation here on Guam is terrible and has made our visit (for me at least) a lot less enjoyable. Here is a link to a description of the Boonie Dog. While this description may sound humorous at first, I can guarantee you it is quite accurate. It pisses me off that nothing significant seems to have been done on this island for these animals. Like everything else on this island, however, I shouldn't be too surprised at the level of neglect shown. I may have to start my own Boonie Dog Rescue Foundation or something because after 5 months here and a thorough search of the Internet I haven't found a whole lot. Thats not to say I've found nothing. Here is a link to a Guam Animals in Need (GAIN). One of the functions of the foundation is the neutering of Boonie Dogs. You can make donations on the website to aid their efforts. You can even adopt your very own Boonie Dog. I'll get off my soapbox now.
32. I feel its necessary to include "Lessons Learned from the Berserk Hash" from a couple of blogs ago:

• When Axl Rose sings the words "welcome to the jungle baby, you gonna die" and you don't heed his warning, you are an idiot.
• Don't participate in a berserk hash set by a guy named Berserk.
• No Bon Jovi prior to hash (I'll take that spear ... I do like the Bon Jovi).
• New trail set on top of old trail is bad.
• Don't listen to anyone on the hash cause they either intentionally (Bambi) or otherwise (Amelia Air Fart) will fuck you.
• "Flying" with no concept of direction is bad.
• Going in circles gets you nowhere ... fast (and means there probably will be less light to finish the hash).
• Sometimes its better to be lucky than good (Mother and Powder).
• Sometimes its better to give up and proceed to the "On Home" than get further than everyone else and still not finish the hash (Mother and Powder).
• Don't listen to the guy who's obviously lost his mind, taking you in the complete wrong direction, and is intent on seeing the mountain (later deemed Mount Dick) way over yonder.

And that concludes the Guam Adventures Blog for this deployment. Guam Adventures will continue to be available for viewing and will probably be reborn this time next year when we are supposed to come back. Much has to be done, so we will see. For now though, my blogging will continue at the site Musings of a B-52 Navigator. Less than 24 hours and a wake up ...