Home Stretch ...

Hello and welcome to the year 2007! And while I am at it, a belated Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to everyone. Its been a little over a month since my last visit but I am glad to say that we are now less than a month away from coming home! Between the horrendous food at the chow hall (which we are making every effort to avoid and will more than likely lead us to the poor house) and the homoerotic humor which has completely taken over (Meat predicted it would happen), it is definitely time.

So you may be wondering where we have been and what we have been doing in our absence ...

Well, I spoke with our new Wing Commander again. I refer you to "The Hardship Deployment (cont)" blog if you are unsure of what I am talking about. I'll set the scene for you ... O'Club, alcohol, wine tasting ... okay, I admit it, there is no scene to set, I really don't need a good reason to make an ass of myself. Anyway, so I am pretty far gone this particular night when I notice the general has come to the wine tasting. Instantly I knew he wanted to have another conversation with me so I unnecessarily reintroduced myself. At some point I noticed his hat on the floor behind a table. So what I thought sounded like me trying to give some friendly advice came off more like I was threatening to steal his hat. Fast forward a week to our Friday Baron Fly. The general was there and it began with a small presentation where I was made to go stand with my face in a corner. I was served with a Military Protective Order, important portions have been highlighted for you ...

In the end the whole thing is pretty funny and the general jokes about it whenever he sees me, at my expense of course. He's earned it, he's the general.

We flew a bunch and even got to drop bombs on Farallon Island ...

Seth unfortunately is still broken so Pappy filled in for him. It appears, though, that we will have our Crew 4 EW back for next week's sortie.

Ahhh, Christmas ... there is nothing like a traditional Christmas spent with family and friends, decorating the house, drinking eggnog (I don't actually like eggnog but I hear some people do), door to door Christmas carolling, and watching a Christmas Story for the 35th time in a 24 hour period on the 5th station you found it on ... good times. Unfortunately we are in Guam for the holidays so none of those things were true. Crew 4 decided instead to sucker punch the Christmas spirit ...

We went and saw Black Christmas and planned a big Christmas dinner at Ramen Corporate Headquarters. While at the movies, we ate some nachos ... okay all the nachos and had no desire to eat anything else, ever when the terrible movie finally ended. So then we went home and watched Hostel (which gave me nightmares by the way), very scary ... and then we went to bed. Merry Christmas everyone ...


If you are wondering, the answer is no, that is not a lazy shocker we are giving the camera, its the Crew 4 gang sign.

A few of us have made it a point to attend the Hash every Saturday since that first one in November. It has really helped to make the time here pass by quicker. We've even gone on two of the Berserk Hashes which are basically longer and much more difficult versions of the Agana Hash. Here are a few pictures from the last few ...

Lessons Learned from this Passed Berserk Hash:

1. When Axl Rose sings the words "welcome to the jungle, you gonna die" and you don't heed his warning, you are an idiot
2. Don't participate in a berserk hash set by a guy named Berserk
3. No Bon Jovi prior to hash (I'll take that spear ... I do like the Bon Jovi)
4. New trail set on top of old trail is bad
5. Don't listen to anyone on the hash cause they either intentionally (Bambi) or otherwise (Amelia Air Fart) will fuck you
6. "Flying" with no concept of direction is bad
7. Going in circles gets you nowhere ... fast (and means there probably will be less light to finish the hash)
8. Sometimes its better to be lucky than good (Mother and Powder)
9. Sometimes its better to give up and proceed to the "On Home" than get further than everyone else and still not finish the hash (Mother and Powder)
10. Don't listen to the guy who's obviously lost his mind, taking you in the complete wrong direction, and is intent on seeing the mountain (later deemed Mount Dick) way over yonder.

And last but not least New Years. Crew 4, along with a bunch of other people from the squadron, decided it would be good to go to this New Years party they were having at the Marriot Hotel for only $35. As it turns out, we paid the money for appetizers. If my drinks had been included, I don't think I'd complain. Mother and I decided to leave with the original intention of cruising (on foot) around the main drag through Guam till sun up. Instead we went upstairs and found another party on a balcony. Not that much better but we hung out there anyway. Nadz, Plink0, and Powder eventually showed up and we drank free champagne and watched the New Years fireworks from this balcony. Plink0, Nadz, and myself then danced away the rest of the night to the live band that was there. It was actually one of the most fun nights we've had in awhile ...

Okay, so that catches you up with everything for the last month or so. I did want to apologize over how long it has been since the last update. I've been agonizing over this particular blog for sometime. Anyway, now it is time to go to the hash and in case you were not aware, the hash waits for no man ...